Trust

Sometimes when I'm under a shower head, under spewing jets of hot water, I'm reminded of the day you said you wanted to be in the shower with me. I assume the fact that I wasn't interested in you, especially when you felt the whole world and its father wanted to sleep with you, is what made me attractive. I was never physically attracted to you. I always felt that you were a lost kid, a girl child who didn't get much love from her father. I was naive to think that I could fill that void, to think that I could give you that love. I was stupid to assume a lot of things but I had to as you never told me much about your past. Even though you confessed your love for me, you did not trust me. I trusted you completely but your behaviour coupled with your history did not let that trust last long. I agree that the manner in which I expressed my loss of trust wasn't ideal but at least I was honest.

I keep trying to rekindle our friendship because I still consider you special. But I do not know if I will try again because it is not easy to do so after being treated the way I have been in the recent past. I'm not sure how long you will remain special, even though a voice inside my head keeps screaming, "Not very long".